The Best Advice I Received
I was widowed, at the age of 39, by my husband taking his own life. There was absolutely no warning, and no note was left. Needless to say, my sons, 15 and 10 at the time, and I were devastated. Early on, through my fog, I realized, as horrible as I felt at the time, one day in the very distant future I would be able to handle this inconceivable blow. I could go on with my life and, perhaps, find another mate, but they would never have another father.
Luckily, within days of my late husband's death, I was the recipient of a brilliant piece of advice from a counselor at the Survivors of Suicide support group.
When I asked what was the best way to help my sons, she simply replied: your sons are going to take their cue from you.
-- If you act out, they will too.
-- If you handle yourself with grace and dignity, they will too.
-- If you show them how to pick yourself up after tragedy hits, they will learn a valuable lesson that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.
It was at that exact moment that I made a conscious decision to not only survive but to thrive. I have always believed in parenting by example, and here was my greatest opportunity to teach my children about how to smile and go on with one's life in the face of adversity.
Fourteen years later, I am pleased to tell you it worked! Despite their great loss, my children "thrived" and are successful in their lives.
Luckily, within days of my late husband's death, I was the recipient of a brilliant piece of advice from a counselor at the Survivors of Suicide support group.
When I asked what was the best way to help my sons, she simply replied: your sons are going to take their cue from you.
-- If you act out, they will too.
-- If you handle yourself with grace and dignity, they will too.
-- If you show them how to pick yourself up after tragedy hits, they will learn a valuable lesson that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.
It was at that exact moment that I made a conscious decision to not only survive but to thrive. I have always believed in parenting by example, and here was my greatest opportunity to teach my children about how to smile and go on with one's life in the face of adversity.
Fourteen years later, I am pleased to tell you it worked! Despite their great loss, my children "thrived" and are successful in their lives.
Posted by LN Gerst at 9/21/2009 10:41 AM 
Categories: Setting a good example
Tags: children suicide advice
Categories: Setting a good example
Tags: children suicide advice
Comments